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| Jon Morrow - has a neuromuscular disorder called Spinal Muscular Atrophy (SMA). It's
a form of a muscular dystrophy that primarily affects children. |
We come across some moments in our life when we meet some people face-to-face or read their life story or even hear about them who change our perspective towards our life and our surrounding world. When odds are stacked in front of us we try find ways to be persistent in our work. Sometimes we find success but most of the cases we fail then try to find reasons to justify our failure.
Jon Morrow at the age about one,was diagnosed with a rare form of muscular dystrophy and expected life span was 3 years. He has a neuromuscular disorder called Spinal Muscular Atrophy (SMA). It's a form of a muscular dystrophy that primarily affects children. His mother lost all hopes. She was speechless, was crying and was praying to be wrongly known about it. But she could ask the doctor a typical question
What is going to happen to my child
The doctor pronounced
Where most children grow stronger as they get older, your son is going
to get weaker. He’ll lose the ability to move. He’ll lose the ability to
breathe on his own. And one day, he’ll catch an infection that will
spread into his respiratory system, giving him severe pneumonia
She held the hand of the doctor and stopped and asked
You’re saying he is going to die?
The doctor nodded
There are three types of SMA. Caught this early, your son almost
certainly has Type I. Most children with Type I die of pneumonia before
the age of two.,,,,. I’m sorry.
But his mother had not accepted the doctors advice, in whose eye her baby was already dead. She determined to fight pneumonia herself for her son.
She fought off 16 times in first 16 years of her child Jon's life. Now at his mid thirties, he never thinks that he'll die. He lives his life to the fullest, with an attitude better than many able-bodied human being.
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| Every day I wake up with that gun to my head. Every day I live |
In a 2017 interview he told
I am one of the oldest people alive with my disease. Many of us die in
an assisted living home, many die from an extra dose of morphine to
speed things along....
There was a gun to my head. The gun was, I didn’t want to be in an assisted living home, watching TV all day, waiting to die...
Every day I wake up with that gun to my head. Every day I live
He dealt with a life threatening car accident in April 2006, his legs were broken at 14 places and he recovered from more than 50 broken bones in his lifespan. He was hospitalized for three months. In his lifespan he spent few years in the hospitals. He described it, in his blog
How I quit my Job
For the next three months, I had nothing to do but endure the pain
and think about my life. I thought about my childhood. I thought about
my dreams. I thought about my career.
And overall, I decided I didn’t like the way things were going
Inspiration # 1 - from his mother Pat - Ability in Disability
When Jon was admitted into kindergarten school, one fellow kid called him 'disabled'. Jon then did not know the meaning of 'disabled'. The fellow kid did not tell him the meaning, when Jon asked him to clarify, he just laughed.
Later in home Jon asked her mother. She thought for a while and gave him a clear meaning of the term 'disabled'
It means you can’t do something as well as someone else. But it also goes the other way.
Everyone in the world can’t do something as well as someone else
So everyone in a sense is disabled.
It gave Jon a sense of his abilities rather than disability, He nurtured those abilities and mastered them.
Stopping to think of the true definition of disability can be very deceiving. Being physically challenged in life is a mindset and how we perceive our lives and the actions we take determine the outcome.
Inspiration # 2 - from the Boxing Ring - The Art of The Counter Punch
In his own writing Jon emphasizes how he learned the art of counter attack and applied in his own life to overcome his differential in relation to others. Although he can only move his eyes and lips, other parts of the body are paralyzed.
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| John Morrow's famous counter punch analogy |
The beginners in boxing are told the importance of counter punch. In his words
By attacking you, your opponent has to let his guard down, and it
creates a brief but very real opportunity for you to sneak in a blow.
You just have to train yourself to spot the opening.
Ironically he spotted the best time to attack his opponent and that turns out to
be right after he attacks us. In fact, the stronger the attack, the
bigger the opportunity for a counter punch.
And it’s true for more than just boxing. In life, every difficulty carries with it a corresponding opportunity of equal size.
Jon fixed his mind after the car accident, when he was in hospital, hired an attorney to settle his medical expenses. It had given him miraculously financial support and enough free time to nurture his hidden ability. As he thought , a lot of people in his condition would have flopped down in front of TV and fantasized. But Jon used his presence of his mind and hoped for opportunity. As he loved writing he decided to use the time of rehab to write more.
He started with
Journaling his thoughts and emotions to get rid of the trauma. He enjoyed it so much that he decided to start Blogging. And in 60 days time his blogs made huge sensation in the international blogging arena. He got offers from media houses to write for them and that had him an opportunity to start his consulting site for blogging tips.
Eventually he settled in Mexico and live the life of his dream.
Here is his Punch and Counter-punch analogy from his own writing
Punch:
None of the cool kids in school wanted to be friends with me, because the wheelchair makes them uncomfortable. I become an outcast.
Counter-punch:
I hang out with the other outcasts: nerds. They teach me how to code, and I started writing my own software by the age of 12.
Punch:
I can’t play sports, go swimming, or any of the other fun stuff kids do. I’m stuck inside, trapped in a body that can’t move.
Counter-punch:
To keep from going crazy, I read half a dozen books a week. By the time I graduated high school, I’ve read more than most of my teachers.
Punch:
I get accepted into MIT, but I’m dirt poor. For a year, I beg for help, but everyone ignores me. I have to turn down the offer.
Counter-punch:
I apply to my somewhat crappy local university, and they offer me a full scholarship. I graduate debt-free.
Jon never looks for his luck to turn around but he spots for the opening in every trauma and turns it into triumph.
No matter how bad and hopeless the situation is, there is always an opportunity to turn in to our advantage. We need the discipline to spot the opening and find the courage to use it.
Inspiration # 3 - Spinal Muscular Atrophy Type 1 - Handling Pain
In our life, we experience many punches on our face. It may be hard or soft but our life designed itself to face the punches. Sometimes we may not notice it but the point is true for everyone of us. How well are we prepared to face the punches make us understand the hit.
Jon is the definite example of experiencing punches, living with a life with a severe disability. Since the day he was born, muscular dystrophy ensures him daily hard beating.
He wrote
It’s made me incredibly strong. I can take any punch life throws at me without even breaking stride.
The advantage of pain is that the more we experience it, the more we can handle it in the future and less it knocks us off out of the game.
The way we respond to the pains is the key factor to handle the situation. If we feel depressed and weak, unable to cope with difficulties of life, it is not that we are flawed. But certainly we are unprepared for the pain we are facing.
The problem, ironically, is that you have not suffered enough.
In contrary we need to train ourselves to handle the pain and increase our tolerance limit. The degree of success we achieve is directly proportional to the amount of pain we can tolerate. we need to endure ourselves to that level that can handle the pain of all those success required to achieve. It prepares ourselves when we experience punches in our face which is inevitable as per the law of nature.
Inspiration # 4 - The Car Accident - The Secret of Survival
It was April 2006, Jon was hit by a car, drove by a teenager Bill, speeding at 85 miles per hour. He got severely injured and admitted in the hospital with his legs broken at 14 places. He spent a month in the hospital and another few months in the rehab. The hospital bill rose about $130,000. Luckily he could settle it through Bill's Insurance Policy by appointing an attorney. The doctors advised one year recovery period.
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| Jon's Minivan after the Crash |
The situation was as if it was not enough for Jon, he wrote
I was already dealing with Medicaid, poverty, and muscular dystrophy.
Life decided to pile on a little extra, just to see how much I could
take
He recounted, how easy it would have been to sink into despair. Or was it a rage against unfairness. Or take some extra dose of morphine and end it all.
But he did nothing. He wrote
Mostly, I was able to handle it because I’d been
conditioned by all the other difficulties of my life, but it was also
because I deliberately shifted my perspective.
The incessant unfairness, for most us, come at blow and unable to handle when we think the outcome , what will be the reactions of people around us etc etc. which takes out all of energies and we fail to address the reality.
He recounted the situation as
If I allowed myself to be angry at Bill for even one moment, I may have
sunk into a pit of rage and despair so deep I would’ve never climbed out
of it. Instead, I forced myself to say, “Okay, this is my life now.
What’s next?” After all, I couldn’t change what happened. The only thing
I had control over was how I responded to that change, and the first
and most critical response was total and complete acceptance.
Here is the point that some or if not most of us consider acceptance as weakness and compare acceptance as defeat to the situation.
But it is proven that It is only by acknowledging reality that we can create a plan to change that reality. Acceptance as it turns out, is the first step to victory.
The attorney whom Jon hired, settled the medical bills , rehab costs and other formalities so well that Jon got enough money to buy a new car and square off all debts. He only spends six months in rehab despite the doctors told him to stay for a year. He resumed his life even healthier than it was before the accident.
Inspiration # 5 - nothing to lose - Courage to face Anything
Jon has faced the question several times, why he chose to move to Mexico when he was facing bankruptcy, no friends, no back-up plan. There were chances that it could have gone wrong. Knowing about the hazards on the road, immigration problem, starving to death as he has no money to afford food, it was a very very difficult adventure for Jon to take.
The medical bill for him to stay alive was $127,000 in US. But it was covered under Medicaid. In his interview Jon tells he had received 12 Job offers but could not accept it as eligibility of Medicaid is for those who earns $700 per month or less. If he accepted one of those offers, he could have lost the benefit of Medicaid which was his lifeline.
By moving in to Mexico he could reduce the medical bill to $18,000, which made him a room to earn from his job.
He planned for earning about $5,000 per month and set himself all out and succeeded.
In his words
To get myself to take action, I didn’t meditate, clear my mind, and
proceed to do the impossible with calmness and confidence. I woke up
each morning and pictured what would happen if I didn’t act. I
envisioned the heart monitor, the nurse, my body being pushed into the
flames. I deliberately put myself into a state of such intense terror
that everything I had to do felt manageable by comparison.
He wins all his worries by repeating the words as his response
True, but that’s still better than dying in a nursing home.
Moral of the story
We should not live our life in fear and worry which is yet to happen or may not happen at all.The moment we have faced down the impossible situation, we must stop torturing ourselves. Find a positive attitude and go about your life. Fear is fuel , burn it and win it.
Inspiration # 6 - The Unstoppable - Embrace the Crazy
The world provide us enough material to be
reasonable. But for Jon himself asked
Was it reasonable for me to give up all my government benefits and move to a country not exactly known for its stellar medical care?
Was it reasonable to work 40+ hours a week for a company that didn’t pay me a dime?
Was it reasonable for me to start a business when failure would’ve meant starving to death on the streets of Mexico?
Not in the slightest. It was actually pretty crazy
In his point, when we face a crazy situation, sometimes the only way out is to take a bold move. That may appear insane, but it may not be so, as the alternative might be worse.
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| It is the most terrible life lesson I ever come across in my life.
Probably you won't unless you know Jon Morrow or Stephen Hawking. |
We are not used to think in that way; and choose to be in a comfortable alternative. Jon's advice is, we must recognize the crazy options that are available in our vision and train ourselves in a way to face them right away if they appear to us face to face all of a sudden.
He copes with fair amount of health adversity like Back Pain. It may surprise us that he feels sensation from neck down. Because his disease only affects motor neuron not the sensory ones. So it is clearly understood that what he faces in terms of Pain.
Yes there are some reasonable medical treatments available for some relief but not for the cure.
But in his alternative arrangement of some crazy solution is also available. They are :
Buy a $5,000 bed that’s like floating on a pocket of air, lie down
in it, and never move again, conducting all my business from bed for the
rest of my life.
Destroy all the nerve endings in my back, making it totally numb.
Believe it or not, this is an actual medical procedure. It’s called
denervation.
Sever my spine, losing not only sensation but also the ability to
breathe without a respirator. Obvious drawbacks, and I’m not sure I
could get a doctor to do it, but still better than the last option…
Suicide
Is he seriously considering any of the option he noted ? Not at all, the pain is not so bad enough to take such a drastic measure.
No matter how impossible the situation appears, we are never trapped. There are always options available. We need keep our senses open for the opportunity.
Inspiration # 7 - Ribs are breaking but don't suffocate - Never Give UP
It is the most terrible life lesson I ever come across in my life. Probably you won't unless you know Jon Morrow or Stephen Hawking.
Jon was suffering breathing problem weeks after one of 16 times Pneumonia attack. His mother rammed her hands into his ribs, forcing the air from his lungs. He coughed, the mucus was ratting deep in his chest . Then he screamed.
A respiratory infection is dangerous for patient like Jon, it is almost like a death call for him. He didn't have the strength to cough himself, so doctors trained his mother to thrust her hands into his ribs to give necessary force.
That worked well, but with terrible cost.
Every time when his mother helped him to cough some ribs were cracking, the bones grind together and fracture a little more.
But they could not stop. If they did, doctors were absolutely certain, he would suffocate and die.
His mother would shove almost hundred times a day on his broken ribs. He screamed, cried, begged her to stop. Still a child, Jon could not understand why she had to hurt him so much. Even today he marvels of his mother's act.
But she did for weeks.
One night, when Jon was lying on his bed, his mother brought a plaque of quote by Winston Churchill and put in on the table beside him. It is still there on Jon's Table.
'Say the words' . She said.
Jon shook his head. 'It hurts'.
“Whisper them, then,” she said, and so I did. Every night, she would
push on my ribs a dozen times before going to bed, and every night, she
would make me whisper the words…
Never, Never, Never Give Up
We wish that we could become more like Jon, motivated by our fears. If there’s
one takeaway, it is that fear is an opportunity if drawn in the right perspective.
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